Oceans

You could say that the past 3 years of my family’s life could be compared to the life of Job. If you don’t know, Job is a man in the Bible who had everything. Wealth, success, many children, a wife - a good life. He lacked for nothing and was known for his faith. So, in the story, Satan goes before God and says that the only reason Job had faith was because his life was so good. He argued that if you take all of that away, Job’s faith would fail. Then he asked for permission to prove it. And here’s what seems like the crazy part - God granted it. He gave Satan permission to attack Job. The only rule was spare his life.

Job lost everything. His livestock. His wealth. His children died. His own health faltered. He was left with foolish friends and an angry and grieving wife who told him to “curse God and die.”

There is a popular song that is used in worship services these days called, “Oceans.”  There is a repeated refrain with these lyrics:

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior

I sometimes am struck with how easily we sing this. Have we really thought about what we are asking of the Lord in these lyrics? Do we really think about what it means for the Lord to take us “deeper than my feet could ever wander”?

I think we forget or don’t realize that to go that deep in our faith often feels like drowning. What sounds like an idealized platitude in a song lyric is in reality, deeply wounding and painful.

So why does God allow it? In Job’s story He downright gave Satan permission. Why? Honestly I don’t ultimately know. But here is what I’ve discovered in my own experience. Remaining faithful when you are drowning is when your faith is real. This is when it’s more than just a nice philosophy to live by. This is when it’s real and all that is left to cling to.

In spite of all that happened in his life, Job remained faithful. In spite of the pain, in spite of the loss, in spite of an angry, bitter, wounded and drowning wife, and in spite of foolish friends full of bad advice - he remained faithful to God. In fact he even said, “even though He slay me, still I will trust in Him.”  

Job understood that his faith was not a faith in circumstances. His faith was a faith in a good and loving and powerful God who is everything. A God who revealed Himself to Job in a unique way in the midst of Job’s pain.

I’ve seen God do that too. In the midst of pain and tears and near drownings, He has revealed Himself to us in unique and personal ways. He is a God who knows our pain. It was Jesus on the cross who said, “My God, my God why have you forsaken me?!” He knew what it was like to feel pain, He knew what it was like to feel alone and He knew what it was like to feel like He was drowning. He was.

He is present and He is a God of redemption, renewal, restoration. He makes beauty from ashes. In Job’s story, God restored everything and more. He restored Job’s life, his health, his family (he had 10 more kids), his wealth - everything. He is a God of redemption.

Recently I was speaking with a member of my family about Job’s story. We were talking about how God restored Job’s life and how that’s what we were praying for in our family. This person said, “Yes, God restored Job’s life. But I bet Job carried the wounds and scars forever - you don’t lose a child and not have scars.”

Yes, I agree. I bet Job carried that pain forever. But I also think it was that pain that made His faith meaningful. I think it was that pain and how God showed up in it that made his faith persevering. It was walking through the valley of death, that actually led to life.

Jesus has scars too. Scars He received for taking on our brokenness. By His wounds, we are healed. And perhaps by our wounds we are led deeper into His heart and into our own healing.