Goodbye, Hello (from one year to another)

Originally published on 1/2/15

As you’ve probably already read somewhere or at least seen on Facebook, this is the time of year we like to wax eloquent about the previous year as we look ahead to the next. We take time to resolve to do (or not do) certain things and then laugh about the fact that we know we won’t really follow through (it’s the thought that counts, right?). Or we advise on how to really make lasting change like we’ve cornered the market on transformation. Of course, I’m being cynical. I know there is emotional health in self reflection and in goal setting to reach a desired end. So, putting aside my cynical self for a bit, I will join the fray. I will reflect on and say goodbye to 2014 and offer my best greeting to 2015. Let it be a cleansing, fresh start.
I’ll begin with this - 2014 was hard. And beautiful. On a personal, internal level, it was groundbreaking. I hired a life coach/spiritual director who finally got me to believe the best things about myself, to believe the masterpiece that God created as me. I believe I am beautiful. I believe that I am powerful, that I have been given a unique, powerful voice and it’s part of my purpose to use it. I believe I am creative. I believe that I have a role to play that the world is waiting for that I am on the path to discovering. I believe I am a stunning masterpiece created for a purpose by a loving God (you are too, by the way, but that’s another post). Every appointment seemed to have that Oprah “aha” moment. As a result, I’m entering 2015 feeling equipped and powerful and beautiful. But that’s been a long road.
A road that often has been hard and scary and painful. Between friends and family, this year has also brought more hardship than perhaps any year before. Marriages in crises. Addiction. Deaths. Illness. Surgeries. Financial stress. Relational pain and hurt. Unfair characterization and misunderstanding. Family drama. Brokenness.
Ahh, brokenness. Evidence of it all around me. My own participation in it. A full recognition that we need something outside of our selves to get through it, to heal, to renew. Someone to show us the beauty amidst the ashes that I believe are always, eventually present. There was a lot of pain in 2014. But because I believe in a God who redeems, who can make all things new, I’m praying this year is one of renewal and beauty born from the ashes.
And so now it is 2015. Another new year, the rhythm of passing time. Around Christmas I heard someone close to me reminiscing about the past. They were looking at a Facebook photo of an old friend and wondering where all the grey hair came from. I mentioned that they too had grey hair, but that wasn’t the point. This friend went on to say in a sad and depressed tone, “we thought time went by so slowly back in high school… where did it go now?” There was something about this line of thought that did not sit well with me. In the moment I didn’t say anything. But now I say this. We can’t live in the past. In fact, I don’t want to. Yes, I reflect on it. Yes, I have actually gone to painful places in dealing with my past. Yes, I’m thankful for a lot of the past (the good and the bad). My past certainly informs my present. But I don’t want to live in the past. Given the chance to go back to those “glory days of old”? Hell no. The pain of life, the joys of life, all the experiences of the past 20 years have made me who I am.  They have made me a better person. I like who I am and I certainly like who I am much better than who I was 20 years ago. This friend was looking at the past as if they were indeed, as mentioned, “the glory days.” I say no. The glory days are ahead. To quote one of my favorite movies, “get busy living, or get busy dying.” We have a purpose, something to pursue. The glory days ahead are in fulfilling that purpose. Enjoy the memories of the past, but don’t be sad about the passing of time. Be present now. Be thankful now for what you have. Look ahead and get busy.
So for 2015, I pray for beauty from the ashes. I pray for renewal - personal and with those around me. I resolve to be the masterpiece God has created me to be and to get busy with what it is He has purposed for me. I resolve to just be. I resolve to engage my heart more than my head. I resolve to look for surrounding beauty. I resolve to be a part of creating beauty. I resolve to be beautiful.
That’s right, 2015. I deem you the year of beauty. Let’s get busy.