What I Don't Know - originally published 12/6/14

3 days ago a friend came into my office visibly disturbed. She couldn’t sit still. On her face and in her voice there was pain. Sadness. Hurt. Disbelief. A deep longing wishing that what was, wasn’t. She had just heard the news that a New York grand jury was not indicting the police officer responsible for choking Eric Garner to death.
As she kept stating simple adjectives trying to describe what she was thinking, I just kept saying, “I know.” I think that’s all I said until my friend left saying she just had to leave the place we were in and go home.
“I know.” I said that because I can recognize injustice when I see it. I am educated enough to know a wrong. I can intellectually recognize that a man needlessly lost his life and no one will be held accountable. And I know enough history to know the systemic implications. I can even feel sadness and sympathy and compassion and anger.
But honestly, I don’t really know anything.
I don’t know what its like to be black or any person of color in the US.
I don’t know what its like to walk down a street and have people be suspicious of me because of how I’m dressed.
I don’t know what its like to be unfairly profiled and subsequently harassed by police.
I don’t know what it’s like to experience systems and cycles of poverty and un-education and I don’t know how hard it is to work through those systems.
I don’t know what its like to have to teach kids how to avoid getting shot by the police.
And this is just the tip of the iceberg. There is a lot I don’t know. And because of this, I’m not sure I do know the pain of my friend and so many others hurting at this time. My experience has been wholly different from hers. My pain and anger in this situation seems to be intellectual.  Hers is deep and real and experienced. My friend deeply hurts.
I know there are critics who resist the idea of white privilege. Some who see rioters and looters on the news and jump to quick judgements, even about an entire race. And even some who believe justice has been done. Easy to say coming from said place of white privilege, which is usually where that view comes from.
I wish we would more quickly drop the judgement and wonder and be curious. I wish we would be quick to seek understanding, quick to ask questions, eager to learn. Our African American brothers and sisters are hurting and their pain runs deep. Something is very broken. We must seek understanding if there is ever to be a solution.
But the pain of my friend in my office reminds me that there is a lot I don’t know. A lot I don’t even know that I don’t know. A lot I don’t understand. But I want to. I want to listen to her and others and learn. I want to be a part of redeeming what is so broken, of fixing what is so wrong. I want to build bridges and lead in reconciliation with her.  I want to stand with her. Because she is my friend. Because I care. Because it is right. Because we must.
And I charge those who are Christ followers to lead the way. Reconciliation is the way of Christ. Without reconciliation there is no Gospel. And without the Gospel, there is no reconciliation. They are beautifully connected. We should not sit idly by on the sidelines while our brothers and sisters are hurting. We should not ignore injustice. We should not stay silent when others are crying out. We should not disengage. If we do, we behave like the travelers in Jesus’ parable who passed by the injured and beaten man and left him to die. Like the Good Samaritan, we must get involved and take risks and show love no matter the cost. At the tomb of Lazarus, it wasn’t his death that caused Jesus to weep. It was the pain of the people who seemed to be without hope. Jesus weeps for the people. When we see such pain around us as we have the last couple of weeks, we should weep too.
I am no longer content to approach this just intellectually. To really understand, we must engage our hearts. We must mourn with those who mourn, weep with those who weep, and act on what is right. Jesus’ love is an active love. And the world is desperately in need of it.